Woman

Since the murder of 17-year-old Lisa last month, violence against women has been at the forefront of the public agenda. The Dolle Mina’s are once again campaigning in full force. And rightly so.

After all, it’s hard to believe that most women regularly feel unsafe on the streets in the evening. That more than half of women sometimes take a detour on their bike to avoid certain places.

What is even more shocking is that when women are victims of violence, in most cases the perpetrator is a man they know. Their husband, father, neighbour, uncle, friend or acquaintance. A man whom nobody would suspect at first glance.

That is a painful and difficult message. So difficult and painful, in fact, that the debate is now mainly focused on other issues. On safety in public spaces. On allowing pepper spray as a means of self-defence. On the ethnic background of offenders.

But what this really ought to be about is why men – because the perpetrators are usually men – think they can get away with this. Why so many people still believe that women are inferior to men. And how we can change that.

The government can do a great deal: amend legislation, provide education and training for the police and the judiciary, run public awareness campaigns, to name but a few. This absolutely must be done. And quickly.

But we all need to do our bit as well. We must stop laughing at jokes about women. We must stop saying that women provoke violence when they go out at night or wear a short skirt. We must stop using misogynistic insults.

Because that sort of thing, too, fuels disrespect towards women.

And that is ultimately what it’s all about; that is what is needed: a deep-seated respect. For everyone. And that includes women, too.

Ton Heerts